Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
