All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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