I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she smelled like a LAN party
so let's talk penis.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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