see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
