I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize