why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
