What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
