sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize