i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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