You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize