giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
