Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
