Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
