You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
whose parrot is this?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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