Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
