You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
