is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
