I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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