I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
