Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
