Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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