I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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