Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just gift wrapped bread.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
