Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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