How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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