it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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