All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
