She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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