there's paper in my vomit.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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