Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
