no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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