im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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