Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
