apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
