Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
