A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize