the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
