They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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