When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
