She said her name was "party"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someone shattered a urinal.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
