that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
