doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
