I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm always down for nudity.
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