My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
