Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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