margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
