I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
