He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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