Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
