I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
