can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i will never coherently bang her
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
