I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
