Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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