So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
