no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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