Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
