i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
