I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
