you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
