I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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