Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
