I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When are your genitals available?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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