PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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