This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
should my penis look like a turkey
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Randomize
