Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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