I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
