Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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