I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
