her vagine was all disorganized.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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