Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
