he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize