Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
