apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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