Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
